inthedougout

Diagnosing the intersection of time and failure -  Failure comes in many forms. It can be the result of poor choices, lack of effort, or simply being in the wrong place at the wrong time. It can be a small setback, like a missed deadline, or a major catastrophe, like a failed business venture. Regardless of its scale, failure often carries a heavy emotional burden, bringing with it feelings of disappointment, regret, and even shame.    However, failure is not an end point. It is an opportunity for growth and learning. When we examine our failures with honesty and self-reflection, we can identify our mistakes, understand our weaknesses, and develop strategies for improvement. In this way, failure can be a catalyst for personal transformation, pushing us to become more resilient, resourceful, and ultimately, more successful.    What even is happenstance? - Happenstance, also known as serendipity or chance, is the occurrence of events by accident rather than design...

I don't know about you, but I really hate to fail.  I am willing to do almost anything to avoid failing.  I hate it.  I am willing to do things I otherwise wouldn't want to do, only if it means I can avoid failing at something.   It's not so much about not getting what I want, however.  I think, in isolation, I can grapple with that outcome and figure out what to do next. The thing we seem to be afraid of is failing in front of others.  We worry about what they'll think of us and our reputation.  Our reputation is our brand, after all. But maybe instead of thinking about this in terms of a binary "pass, fail" set of options, what if the reputation is a set of options surrounding what you do about failure.  And maybe you were putting entirely too much pressure on yourself to achieve one outcome over another.   And so that  is our struggle, our call to action.  Fail - fail to allow yourself to grow.  Fail - fail out of ...

This is officially a call to action: fail more. Do you ever feel like you're afraid to lose or fail?  Do you think that fear prevents you from doing things that you want to do? The answer to both of those questions - for nearly every segment of our population - is yes. They have been a resounding "yes" for me and for the vast majority of my life.  What's interesting is that, as a child, I was less fearful.  Part of that was knowing that I had some semblance of a support system to catch me when I fell.  My parents weren't always there for me - with all respect to them and their own struggles - but I knew there were certain teachers I could call upon if needed. When we get older, we become that trusted adult for others, but what happens when we still need those trusted adults and mentors in our life?  For me, I reached a point where the torch was handed off to me, but I was not done needing help, myself.   In the process, I tripped over myself figuring o...

The first chunk of my life was dictated for me.  I went to school and I was told what to do in school.  I got a job and I was told what to do at that job.  I went to college and I was told what to do in college.  I found a better job and I was told to do in that job.   My success in those different contexts was some milestone, goal, or achievement that was given to me by those different contexts.  I didn't have to think about what the goal was - it was merely given to me.  In some sense, that's great - I appreciate that someone was training me. But the problem is that no one told me that I was merely being trained.  Without necessary communication and context, I kept drifting through the days thinking another goal or milestone would magically appear. Well, it didn't.  And it took me a few years to figure this out - more than I'd like.   What did I learn in the process? That you must set those goals for yourself - even if those ...

An ode to failure: Roses are red, violets are blue,  I face-planted hard, my pain was due.  My grand visions, gone and unjust,  My carefully laid plans, turned entirely to dust. The truth: we must learn to love failure.  If you don't love failure, you most certainly won't love the success that comes in the second part of your story.  As you figure out what it is you love, why not love all of it?

Have you ever thought that failure is really just a matter of being in the wrong place at the wrong time?  To a certain extent, I think there's a lot of truth to that, but there's a ton to unpack with that.  If we fail because we were in the wrong place at the wrong time, does it mean that everything else was "right?"  Probably not.  Blaming things on the circumstances may blind us to defects or deficiencies in our own process and state of being.  What does that mean?  It means don't blame some outside force for your circumstance - if you failed, you failed.  It does not matter when it happened.  Sure, you could have had some bad luck but blaming luck will not give you the kick-in-the-ass that you need to get that ass in gear.  Let's dig in a little bit. Some people call life a canvass. As you paint with your brush, sometimes the bristles of the brush do exactly as you want.  Other times, the brush wreaks havoc - it operates almost as if...