Embracing a tough loss in little league, finding a path forward.

Little league can be brutal sometimes.

We can all acknowledge that it's a game for kids, but if you've played, coached, or parented through even a minute of little league, you know that it's a complicated mish-mash of (1) kids that are really good; (2) kids that are there because their parents want them to be there; (3) kids that absolutely don't want to be there; and (4) way too many micromanaging parents.

I can admit that I've probably pushed my oldest son a little too hard at times.  I often lose sight of the fact that he's only 8 years old and really wasn't in diapers all that long ago.  But as time has gone on, I've tried to catch my words before they even leave my mouth.  The less I've talked, the better. 

That was the case until a game last week where we lost 26-1.  Yes, that's correct:  twenty-six to one.  

We happened to run up against a team that consisted mostly of travel ball kids.  All good kids in their own respect, but driven hard by parents hoping their kid becomes the next Bryce Harper.  

[I know, my bias is showing here.  I can't help it, I have an issue with travel baseball because it's ruining recreation baseball]

Our kids were dejected for the majority of the game.  Plays they couldn't defend, balls they couldn't hit, and we were all crawling forward, hoping to be put out of our misery.  

I'm a positive person by nature.  I really try to build up those around me.  But this was one of the toughest jobs I've ever had to confront.  The experience left me with a few tips to carry forward with me:

• Award game balls for effort, leadership, and attitude.  This game taught me, more than anything, that I should re-think how I award game balls for my kids.  While big plays are good, I wanted to really reinforce the things that mattered the most to me.  Were the kids trying to pick each other up?  Were they hustling on every play?  Were they cheering their teammates on from the dugout?  I looked for these things and awarded game balls.  The kids were surprised but sure enough, they came to the next practice with a little more pep in their game.
• Praise everything you can.  A simple grounder, a hard running base-runner, a caught pop-up.  I celebrated it all.  Celebrate the little things in the game; the bigger things will come later.
• Be frustrated, but not with the kids.  Our kids were setup to fail by having to play a team that we had no business playing.  It wasn't a winnable game by any stretch of the imagination.  But being frustrated with the kids was not the solution.  This is, again, a little league game.  Find a place to let out that frustration but find the right time to do so.

Overall, it's tough to convince a group of kids to feel good about themselves after losing by 25 runs.  But I will never be content letting them leave the diamond with their heads held low.  Find that way to talk to your team, keep them invested, and keep them positive.