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How to live with pain and move forward in your life

                                              
It has been a while since I have posted anything.  Recently, I suffered a knee injury that has been quite debilitating.  This injury, and the experience I will be writing about, has given me new insights on life that I'd love to share.  My hope is that I can help anyone else who is going through a difficult time and maybe even teach you a few strategies about getting through a difficult time.

For several months, I have lived in debilitating pain.  I spent my days on my back, barely a participant in life.  To anyone that has been dealing with pain and I failed to acknowledge, I am beyond apologetic.  I feel like an asshole for not acknowledging the pain of those around me.  See, when you're not in pain, it's very easy to take how normal you feel for granted.  That ease with which everyone else around you navigates their day feels like a slap in the face.  Why can't I just have a day without pain?  Why can't I take a walk around my neighborhood?  Why is even getting to the bathroom such a struggle sometimes?

This was hard to not just accept, but on the most basic level, comprehend.  I was the busy-body kind of person that never stops moving -- usually, all in an effort to help those around me.  The transition from helpful to helpless hasn't been easy and I am still working on ways to move forward.  I've come up with a few ideas:
  • Flip the script.  With three kids in the house, there's no shortage of cups to put away, meals to make, or laundry to clean.  Not only had I grown accustomed to that workload, but I found a certain joy in it (yes, that makes me a bit strange).  My wife was the brains and I was the brawn.  She mapped out what we needed to do and I executed that plan.  Needless to say, my limited mobility affected my ability to uphold my end of the bargain.  Simply put, my bargain wasn't getting done.  
  • Whatever you do, don't isolate yourself.  This is one of the tougher things to do.  Pain has a way of overriding anything and everything else in your life.  I just don't want pain being the subject of my conversations.  
  • Reset expectations.  Whatever it is that you're confronting, I am confident that you weren't expecting it to become such a barrier in your life.  I wasn't.  My life changed from one second to the next in a way I didn't expect and in a way that I still struggle to comprehend.  I had a plan with my previous set of expectations and now I'm forced to reset those expectations.  I now need a new plan.  That's okay.  Fight to maximize this new plan but realize, it's just a new plan.    
  • Remember that you are strong.  This is very easy to forget and lose sight of during a prolonged, if not permanent state of pain.  Strong is relative.  Strong is unique to you.  You are strong for enduring what you're enduring.  You are strong for getting out of bed every day and giving this thing your best.  You are strong for never giving up, even if that little voice inside of your help keeps telling you that this is too hard.
  • Simplify.  I can't stress this enough.  If there are things in your life that are feeling unnecessary, cut them.  If you feel like you have too much stuff in your house you're putting away, you're probably right.  Get rid of it all.  
I plan on coming back to this post over time -- both to remind myself but also evaluate whether these principles still hold up.  If you have strategies that have worked for you, I'd love to hear about them.

Update - I did, in fact, come back to this.  Have things changed?  No, not dramatically.  But the lessons shared earlier still hold.  They still work.  

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